silver eyes suggest a sultry cry
golden stepping stones lead towards the door
between the highest mountain and the endless ocean floor
it may or may not open
to one who's heart is true
to one who is not you
the path is only golden then
to he with open eyes
and only she with a golden heart
and a sultry voice to cry
how will you claim your justice now?
How will you claim the blood?
the memories locked away
burst open from the gates and flood
there is no restitution here
no validation in this hour
make the journey on your own
take control of your own power.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Hello
Goodbye to ashes
goodbye to hardwoodfloors
goodbye to kencrest ave
goodbye to crooked doors
goodbye to nosey neighbours
goodbye to grapfruit cheers
goodbye to lazy futon sundays
goodbye to fights and tears
goodbye to elevators
preparties and the forth floor
goodbye to tiny garbage bags and
chad knocking on my door
Goodbye to Kuuface at my window
goodbye to baconies with a view
goodbye to broken dishes
and goodbye to you
goodbye to maybe almosts
short and sweet not long enough
goodbye to dancing long into the night
goodbye to calling bluffs
goodbye to hot and sweaty days
even hotter nights
goodbye to tdot clubbing
goodbye to fantastic sights
goodbye to oppressed options
goodbye ignorance
goodbye to shiney disco balls
and camo printed pants
Goodbye to weekend visits
rent and all that shit
goodbye to all the crap in life
that always makes me sick!
Goodbye to the beautiful
the loud and ugly and dark
goodbye to motorcycle drives
into the night and dark.
Hello to me and hello to you
hello to a blank new page
starting again with all I am
with all my rave and rage!
Double Down and Rock on!
2009 Bring it on!
goodbye to hardwoodfloors
goodbye to kencrest ave
goodbye to crooked doors
goodbye to nosey neighbours
goodbye to grapfruit cheers
goodbye to lazy futon sundays
goodbye to fights and tears
goodbye to elevators
preparties and the forth floor
goodbye to tiny garbage bags and
chad knocking on my door
Goodbye to Kuuface at my window
goodbye to baconies with a view
goodbye to broken dishes
and goodbye to you
goodbye to maybe almosts
short and sweet not long enough
goodbye to dancing long into the night
goodbye to calling bluffs
goodbye to hot and sweaty days
even hotter nights
goodbye to tdot clubbing
goodbye to fantastic sights
goodbye to oppressed options
goodbye ignorance
goodbye to shiney disco balls
and camo printed pants
Goodbye to weekend visits
rent and all that shit
goodbye to all the crap in life
that always makes me sick!
Goodbye to the beautiful
the loud and ugly and dark
goodbye to motorcycle drives
into the night and dark.
Hello to me and hello to you
hello to a blank new page
starting again with all I am
with all my rave and rage!
Double Down and Rock on!
2009 Bring it on!
Good bye 2008
coming closer to the end of another year,
the end.
the death of what was
and the birth of many things to come.
I remember how I came into 2008. Dancing long into the morning light with the Sultan and all my friends.
Coconut Groove....
Travis, Scoober, Jen, Juice, Melissa J, Melissa M,Sky and candice and so many others.
We were all exactly where we wanted to be. Together.
Messing around at Scoobers untill probably 9am.
Grabbing a cab back home to sleep and catch the Family Guy Marathon.
A Month l8r:
Moving out of my apt on Kencrest was a little heartbreaking, but with the prosepect of
this new life we were planning, It was worth the change.
In hindsight I suppose either way it was for the best.
Downtown life certinaly picked up and transformed. No more home after the bar
and trying to sleep. Admitting we were helpless to stop ourselves and giving in to our
self destructive curiously drivin unsatiable appitite for the party we started earlier with
pre-parties, a concept never givin any consideration given the circumstances at the last apt.
But there would be no noise complaintes here!
Onward! to the bar and...back again! forward into Saterday; a bat cave to keep us safe.
Tiesto to keep us sane.
Candy all weekend long.
Dancing, silly hats, disco balls and the discovery of Chad Clarke! My Make up artist!
A rare breed, and soon to become my best friend.
Parties! And Women Unlimited! The special carrear focus program for 12 weeks.
Those weeks changed my life. My perspective, my attitude and my expectations,
for my life, my relationships, and my carrear.
T wouldn't stop saying how we should break up so at some point early May, I called his bluff.
I was fine. I had all the girls from W.U everyday. That was my support system.
I can feel the difference now. Its harder to ever think about that kinda stuff.
I miss the ladies and wish I could see them all the time.
I found a great employer to work for and had an awsoem summer working at the top of
Main ave in Fairview.(Little did I know I would be living in a house with Mr. Theriault before
the end of the year, lol
Trav left to work out west. Came back for Tiesto and totally spazzed on me for hooking up
with Melissa J while he was gone.
I still will never regret that time. It was pretty near only two weeks, but I loved spending
time with her. If things had been different I would have certainly pursued a relationship
with her. She was great fun and we had a lot in common, but my heart was hard wired
for a male figure in my life for the "forever" in my life.
I also brought my wage up from 17 to 20/hr with my boss! Sweet!
So When Craig came along and I had had it with T I said what the hell. I had always
wanted to be with Craig. From two years ago wehn I had wanted him and basically
I am sure he treated his shoes better than me....
SO why go back to him you ask?
Your guess is as good as mine. Point is he treats me like Gold now.
And thats all that matters to me know.
We went to Toronto for two weeks. Adn confessed our love at a Club called Guverment
While staying at the Bondi hotel his dad hooked us up with. I met his Mom and Dad too.
Kinda awkward given the circumstances but Its awesome now.
I started School at NSCC and Craig moved into the apt. I ended up having to leave after
four weeks cause of lack of funding and went back to work full time. Which worked out
better. But maybe thats a piece of life that was never ment for me to experience.
I always seem to keep trying though. College university whatever, at least I try. At least I aspire.
And I'll always keep trying....
So a few months l8r Craig gets a morgage, for a three bedroom in Clayton Park.
And here we are.
I love it. I'm happy.
And I am ready for a re-birth.
because the new year is coming, and it is the time for change.
The time for new things.
New beginnings
a time to reinvent ones self!
2009 here I come!
the end.
the death of what was
and the birth of many things to come.
I remember how I came into 2008. Dancing long into the morning light with the Sultan and all my friends.
Coconut Groove....
Travis, Scoober, Jen, Juice, Melissa J, Melissa M,Sky and candice and so many others.
We were all exactly where we wanted to be. Together.
Messing around at Scoobers untill probably 9am.
Grabbing a cab back home to sleep and catch the Family Guy Marathon.
A Month l8r:
Moving out of my apt on Kencrest was a little heartbreaking, but with the prosepect of
this new life we were planning, It was worth the change.
In hindsight I suppose either way it was for the best.
Downtown life certinaly picked up and transformed. No more home after the bar
and trying to sleep. Admitting we were helpless to stop ourselves and giving in to our
self destructive curiously drivin unsatiable appitite for the party we started earlier with
pre-parties, a concept never givin any consideration given the circumstances at the last apt.
But there would be no noise complaintes here!
Onward! to the bar and...back again! forward into Saterday; a bat cave to keep us safe.
Tiesto to keep us sane.
Candy all weekend long.
Dancing, silly hats, disco balls and the discovery of Chad Clarke! My Make up artist!
A rare breed, and soon to become my best friend.
Parties! And Women Unlimited! The special carrear focus program for 12 weeks.
Those weeks changed my life. My perspective, my attitude and my expectations,
for my life, my relationships, and my carrear.
T wouldn't stop saying how we should break up so at some point early May, I called his bluff.
I was fine. I had all the girls from W.U everyday. That was my support system.
I can feel the difference now. Its harder to ever think about that kinda stuff.
I miss the ladies and wish I could see them all the time.
I found a great employer to work for and had an awsoem summer working at the top of
Main ave in Fairview.(Little did I know I would be living in a house with Mr. Theriault before
the end of the year, lol
Trav left to work out west. Came back for Tiesto and totally spazzed on me for hooking up
with Melissa J while he was gone.
I still will never regret that time. It was pretty near only two weeks, but I loved spending
time with her. If things had been different I would have certainly pursued a relationship
with her. She was great fun and we had a lot in common, but my heart was hard wired
for a male figure in my life for the "forever" in my life.
I also brought my wage up from 17 to 20/hr with my boss! Sweet!
So When Craig came along and I had had it with T I said what the hell. I had always
wanted to be with Craig. From two years ago wehn I had wanted him and basically
I am sure he treated his shoes better than me....
SO why go back to him you ask?
Your guess is as good as mine. Point is he treats me like Gold now.
And thats all that matters to me know.
We went to Toronto for two weeks. Adn confessed our love at a Club called Guverment
While staying at the Bondi hotel his dad hooked us up with. I met his Mom and Dad too.
Kinda awkward given the circumstances but Its awesome now.
I started School at NSCC and Craig moved into the apt. I ended up having to leave after
four weeks cause of lack of funding and went back to work full time. Which worked out
better. But maybe thats a piece of life that was never ment for me to experience.
I always seem to keep trying though. College university whatever, at least I try. At least I aspire.
And I'll always keep trying....
So a few months l8r Craig gets a morgage, for a three bedroom in Clayton Park.
And here we are.
I love it. I'm happy.
And I am ready for a re-birth.
because the new year is coming, and it is the time for change.
The time for new things.
New beginnings
a time to reinvent ones self!
2009 here I come!
Monday, December 08, 2008
Today I woke up with a snap, and my bed decided to swallow me whole. And quickly.
I was trapped instantly and felt that any resistance I could dish out would in the end prove fruitless.
SO I continued to sleep until finally, perhaps in my state of fermenting, my bed released its hold on me and I proceeded to escape. Spilling out onto the floor I scrambled for the nearest exit.
at this point it was 10 am and long past when I should have been to work. I had misplaced my phone and I thought it was for sure
I think my bed swallowed my phone too, fortunately for me I felt indifferent about it for some reason and instead made a coffee. Bones invited himself to the top of my kitchen counter, a good old friend and we conversed for some time.
It is hours later now, I have finished cleaning and will now hit the shower and prepare for an evening of thought.
The snow is so lovely here, but suddenly I feel a pang of loneliness....strange...I am not actually alone.
I am always here with myself...
I was trapped instantly and felt that any resistance I could dish out would in the end prove fruitless.
SO I continued to sleep until finally, perhaps in my state of fermenting, my bed released its hold on me and I proceeded to escape. Spilling out onto the floor I scrambled for the nearest exit.
at this point it was 10 am and long past when I should have been to work. I had misplaced my phone and I thought it was for sure
I think my bed swallowed my phone too, fortunately for me I felt indifferent about it for some reason and instead made a coffee. Bones invited himself to the top of my kitchen counter, a good old friend and we conversed for some time.
It is hours later now, I have finished cleaning and will now hit the shower and prepare for an evening of thought.
The snow is so lovely here, but suddenly I feel a pang of loneliness....strange...I am not actually alone.
I am always here with myself...
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