Dad

I love my parents.
My father left my mom(yeah they were married) when I was three( I think). My mum was heartbroken.

But Strong, moved on. And found someone wonderful. Who loved her so much.And they were happy. The divorce from my biological dad took a lot out of my mom. She and I fought like cats and dogs till the day she kicked me out for good.But Dad was always ther to try and mediate as best he could. He never lost his temper or stepped out of line even when I would time and time again. He was a great father. Is a great father.

21 years later her heart was broken again. But this time she won't leave ...and I don't know what to do.They share a family, including Yis, my 19 year old sis.(She's in UNB)R,my 16 yr bro and sweet Ev only 13. Ry knows......But he's like someone out of Eminems rap songs:
"with his headphones blarin' he's alone in his own world cold, and uncaring"

I talked with him but It felt like I might as well have talked to the wall.I know he's hurting inside. hurting...confused.frustrated. feeling betrayed.

I wish I knew what to do. I hurt so much. Will I be without a father agin.
What's going to happen. I am tired of crying and Mom...
I am so worried about her.she won't leave him even thought he was the one who was wrong. She just want's him to love her. She has changed her life for him so many times over. Moved where he wanted to move. Part of me knows there is a fault with her. Perhaps she should have been more independent...but it's too late for that..I took time off work (my personal vacation time) to come down and confront dad and tell him nopt to leave . that he has a respnsibility to his children. Ry needs him. Yissa needs him. And Ev needs him the most.He is only 13!!!

I was feeling so sick.....so scared. I just wanted to go back to the city. Back home and hide in my room safe from this uncertinty.but a friend called me and talked with me and made me see I can't run away from this. and niether can dad. If I don't get this off my chest I will carry it on my back. I have the chance to talk now if I don't take it. shit might hit the fan when I leave and I am not here to say my piece.
Tomorrow we will be moving concreate slabs to design a walkway in the back yard. I will talk then.
See, why would he want to invest his time in the house if he wasn't going to stay. He must want to stay. right?
so many times over again I have talk myself into believeing that it's not that big a deal...mom is really ok...maybe it will just....disapear...*Poof*............

No. This will never go away. Ever. It will not be forgotten.
But maybe forgiven.

They just went to bed, Mom and dad. I said goodnight to them both. told dad to wake me in the morn.......He is so oblivious..to my knowlege...my hurt...but tomorrow I will pour my heart out before him to see, all the love I still, and always will have for him. My dad.

I love you . I am sorry if I never said it enough.

I forgive you. I accept you. We are only human, We make mistakes.

Goodnight.