I'm so upset right now...

I keep pretending everything is fine....
everything is changing, I am changing ...

choosing different things..

instead of the old...

but

FUCK IT'S ALL ITS SUCH A LIE!!!!!

I have to smile all day long,

breathe melanie just breathe.

It's all I can do to keep my feet on the ground.

I'm so tired of everyone.

Part of me wants to scream at them
and maybe
run away.



but no matter where I go....

there I'll be.

C seems to have no fucking clue,

the turmoil in my head all day long.

Where did it all go?

I wish I could just leave sometimes....

I hate his voice when it tells me I am just listening to strange sounds.....


I wish..I long for a partner who desires the different and strange with me..

someone who listens...


someone who really loves.....

everything about me....

including me

fuck