The list

I woke from my dream this morning,
Panic, Anxiety....Scared shitless really.

Its good to finally shake that off,
knowing that whatever my mind can fathom while I sleep,
is never what I have to live with.

Sort of.

I Mean,
There is a self consciousness that has developed,
over the years...
always makes things a little challenging for me.

I know its not really what I think it is,
but that's how it feels for me.
I can relax most of the time,

but often,
it catches up with me,
and I have to get out right away.

Run home,
back to my comfort zone: whatever that may be, driving around alone,
listening to the songs I can relate to,
coffee by the lake,
walking that trail,
snuggle with Bones...(Meow face)

I never used to be like that. I could do whatever for however long, but I guess years of having your own way, in a way, defects you.

Ha. I'm defected product. Yes, yes I am!!

Beautiful.
Can't you see it.
Whatever you truly are,
it is still admirable if you can be honest with yourself
and admit your disposition.

and there is some beauty in that too.
almost attractive, to know your self to come face to face with it all....

I procrastinate.
I am obnoxious.
I am angry.
I am paranoid.
I am Vain.
I am mean.

but can be extremely sympathetic and empathetic.
I love to be there for you if I can, but I am selfish too.

HA! Where are the others like me? I am so many other things! I cannot list them all! I know you are too!

What is on your list?