times times times...
Hmmm.
It's been a crazy past six months....
Thinking back. Sept...
getting off that damn Cipralex....
Know I know, everything I feel, everyday is all me.
this is just reassurance of course...
I need to hear it, at least from myself....
looking back on your life. Progress or not, determined only by yourself...
It doesn't make sense to compare your life, choices therein and lifestyle with that of others...
We all do it so much. I still do it....What I should be doing, I'm 25.....where should I be?...

Ahh, that condemning word..."Should".
I should make sure I am happy. Satisfied with myself. Providing for myself and those I love.
But I worry that providing for others , financhially or emotionally(thats the big one).. is something I oft regret.
And I dislike regret...
but Why do I feel it?
Will I "regret" my party this weekend...haha maybe how I feel the next day, but if the ratio of awesomeness that occurs that night is more than the poopy of the next day...it should measure out....
Sigh. I can think, and I have to say, yes it all guys I can think of, who can not think about what they do in life and barl;ey feel anything.....I feel too much and too far and I can't stop it and it usually gets the best of me.
there is no cure...only choice.
to know and remember what it is that makes me "think" and to do the things that help me not to....and stay away from those things that do....
but I never can, and rarley choose to anyway...
Ah life...


"I turn the radio up a bit...
rolled the window down and took it in...
I 'm going to fast but I don't give a shit...
Theres something chasing me and I have to win...

It makes sense to forget what it takes.....

I found a bullet outside my door...
I think it's me it was intended for....

It makes sense to forget what it takes...."

thanks Hayden...you always help me lose that part of me for a while...